MI5 Recruitment
The Headquarters of MI5.
Int. Waiting room. Day
Three people, two men and a woman are sat well apart from each other. They flick through magazines, fiddle and fidget, look at their watches. There is no attempt at conversation. It all so English. After a few minutes a door opens and a middle-aged man enters; he is carrying a brief case and a clip board. The men and women suddenly become alert and look at him. He speak.
MAN: You know why you’re here?
He looks at them in turn. In turn they nod.
MAN: You know it’s vitally important in these troubled times that we have unquestioning obedience and loyalty?
He looks at them in turn. In turn they nod.
MAN: You understand that the position you’re applying for is vital for the safeguard and welfare of the country?
He looks at them in turn. In turn they nod.
MAN: You realise that in extreme cases you may be asked to (BEAT) kill for your country?
He looks at them in turn. There is no hesitation. In turn they nod.
MAN: Very well. (Consults list on clipboard) Jenkins?
JENKINS: Sir?
MAN: (Opening his brief case and taking out pistol) This Jenkins is a Walther PPK. Are you familiar with the weapon?
JENKINS: No sir.
MAN: Not to worry, all you have to do is pull the trigger.
JENKINS: Yes sir.
MAN: Now then Jenkins, bearing in mind what I’ve said about unquestioning obedience and loyalty I want you to go into that room there (He gestures) where you’ll find your wife.
Jenkins looks startled.
Using the Walther PPK I want you to kill her. Understand?
JENKINS: I can’t do that. Absolutely not. No way!
MAN: You may leave now. You have failed the test.
Jenkins leaves.
MAN: (consults clipboard) Bailey.
The remaining man stands up with an eager look on his face.
BAILEY: I’ll shoot the bitch; she’s bin shagging my best mate for years and I’ve only just found out.
MAN: Quite. Through that door Bailey you will find your 80 year old mother, Elsie. I want you to into that room and using the Walther PPK kill her.
Bailey looks horrified.
BAILEY: I can’t do that you sicko pervert bastard. What kind of a man do you think I am?
MAN: You may leave now. You have failed the test.
Bailey leaves.
MAN: (consults clipboard) Ms. Taylor I presume.
Taylor stands. She is wary and watchful.
In that room you will find your husband, Robert. I want you to go in there and kill him.
Taylor looks at the man and without saying a word takes the Walther PPK and goes into the room closing the door behind her. There is silence for a few seconds and then all hell breaks loose. We hears screeching, shouting, screaming, and lots of dull thuds. Finally there is silence. The door opens and Taylor stands there bloody but unbowed. The Man looks at her aghast.
Taylor: (She gestures with the pistol) You forget to load the bloody thing; I had to beat him to death with a chair.
Copyright (c) Chris Gallagher